Chris passed away August 1, 2008

[k9diabetes]

Re: Cancer confirmed

There was no good news from the radiology review. No question it's cancer and most likely secondary metastases from a tumor elsewhere.

Chris' vet feels his quality of life has already slipped significantly in the past week to ten days and things will only get worse from here. That the kindest thing to do at this point is to let him go now when it's not so bad.

We haven't made any decisions... Jeff and I will have to talk tonight and I've put in a call to an oncologist who is familiar with Chris. But his heart is so compromised and he's declined so much recently that treatment, even if it could help and it's not clear that it would, really isn't an option.

I can't even really take all of this in yet. Chris is still "in there", but he's also clearly uncomfortable too much of the time. The past five days have been terrible for him. So I know in my heart that his vet is right about him and his future. Exactly how that road will go I don't know yet...

Thank you for your kind wishes... will let you know what happens.

Natalie

[BestBuddy]

Re: Chris - 14 years old

Natalie,
I just wanted to say I am thinking of you and Chris and hoping for the best. I do know that any decisions made for Chris will be made with love and compassion so they will will be the right ones.
Jenny & Buddy

[Mike Vee]

Re: Chris - 14 years old

Natalie,
our hearts go out to you & Chris. You provide guidance and inspiration to us all. Please know that we're sending prayers and good wishes your way during this rough time.
Mike

[rhodesian46]

Re: Chris - 14 years old

I think this is the most difficult time for ya'll and the hardest conversation that you will have with your husband I know that you love Chris and will do whats best for him not yourself. No one can judge unless they have gone through this most difficult time.. we are all here for you Hugs and prayers from Pebbles and I. God will guide you
Marianne and Pebbles

[Denise]

Re: Chris - 14 years old

Natalie, I'm stunned! We never know about these things but it does cross our minds at times. You've done so well by Chris that I know this decision will also be in his best interest but you need time to process the info. I am so sorry you have to think about this.

My mind has been in the same place with Bogie, wondering what I will find out and it scares me.

Where is the tumor? Nothing maybe to knock it back for the time being?

Praying for you a calm mind to process this, praying some feel good moments for poor old Chris and sending HUGS to all.


((((HUG)))

[Lulusmom]

Re: Chris - 14 years old

Natalie,

I am so terribly sorry to hear the news about Chris. You and he have fought so hard and have beat the odds many times. For him to be walking on God's green earth for 14 years is truly a testament to the love and nurturing his momma has given him. I sincerely believe that your love and devotion has given him the will to live and I suspect that it is no less difficult for him to say goodbye to you as it is for you to let him go.

My prayers are with you and your entire family.

Glynda

[k9diabetes]

Re: Chris - 14 years old

Denise, we are stunned as well. No one was expecting this. I see that Bogie continues to struggle too and am anxious to hear whether you got into ISU and what they found out.

Natalie

[k9diabetes]

Re: Chris - 14 years old

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your kind messages. I have been kind of living this thing for the past couple of days... sometimes I manage to set it aside, sometimes not.

I have an appointment with a veterinary oncologist tomorrow who is acquainted with Chris, just to talk things over - what's likely to happen, what she sees when she looks at him, that kind of thing.

My feeling at the moment, literally the moment as I go back and forth, is I don't think this is the time to do a pre-emptive euthanasia to avoid things that "might" happen. Jeff and I agree that euthanasia is for relief of suffering, not to avoid suffering that he might experience, or might not. Right now, he's eating heartily now that he's getting Hamburger Helper Beef Pasta!, pooping, peeing, and mobile even if creaky. He's present and sometimes even looks cheerful, though he is often less than comfortable. But taking him off the kibble helped. He likes it but it doesn't like him.

Will see whether the talk with the oncologist changes any of that.

I always feel like if I'm not sure then it's not time. And right now I think it is not time. He may still decide on his own or he may decline and then I'll know....

Natalie

[gpgscott]

Re: Chris - 14 years old

Hi Natalie,

I have been off and on on the Cushing's forum and have not visited yours in a while due to other demands on my time.

I know you will do what is right for Chris and Chris knows it too.

I am so sorry you all are having to go through this and I agree with you about preemptive euthanisia. We hasten their departure only to relieve them of suffering.

Vandy, Moria and I will be thinking about you, Chris and Jeff.

Scott

[Mickey'sMom]

Re: Chris - 14 years old

Natalie you've been a great help to me here, and I know what you are facing right now, we let 2 pups go in the last 3 years. A 12 yr old and a 14 yr old. Its hard, but let me tell you what I have found. Your pup will let you know when they've had enough, We had another dog named Mickey for 16 years ( our Mickey now was named in his honor) he had severe arthritis..it got to the point where when he got up from a laying position he would just cry, and he would move around slowly, One morning he just looked up at me with a "help me" look, and i knew it was time, it was hard and he went peacefully in our arms. Your baby will let you know when hes had enough,,Our thoughts and prayers are with you and Chris

[bgdavis]

Re: Chris - 14 years old - Cancer diagnosed July 08

Natalie,

I've just been unable to get enough control of my emotions to write anything since I saw the post that it was definitely cancer. I'm heart broken that this is happening to Chris and you. You've been by my side through everything with Crissy and I truly feel like Chris and her are connected in some way...treading the same paths.

Now there's Bogie too.

You know that you're in my thoughts and if you need anything, just say so.
I have faith that you will always do what's best for Chris.

Bonnie and Crissy

[rhodesian46]

Re: Chris - 14 years old - Cancer diagnosed July 08

Hi NAtalie,
I am really sorry to hear the news on Chris's cancer. I know that when he is ready you will now.It is so hard to even think of the inevitable for the healthy dogs and the sick dogs It breaks all of our hearts here as atone time or another we had to go through the same decision. I have 9 animals to go through. Jeez! I understand if you don't come on the forum for a bit.You need to be with Chris.Pebbles and I send really big hugs!
Marianne and Pebbles

[Denise]

Re: Chris - 14 years old - Cancer diagnosed July 08

I know what you mean about "not taking this all in" as I feel I am in the same boat. I don't know if that's a good thing or not but maybe a self preservation thing?

Hamburger Helper??? Oh Chris! You lucky dog!!! Don't tell Bogie!

Nat, have you had to change his insulin dose?



Keeping you and Chris in prayer and sending "feel good" thoughts for Chris and "I can cope" thoughts to you!

Denise

[k9diabetes]

Re: Chris - 14 years old - Cancer diagnosed July 08

I thought the oncologist visit today was good. She really has a special place for Chris in her heart. Took him back to the hospital area as we decided to do some bloodwork and a urinalysis... more about that later... and she introduced him to the techs in the back as the best managed diabetes dog in the world (he's not really but it was nice) with his own website! I had sent her a postcard about k9diabetes.com so she knew all about his star turn here.

Her feeling is that ultimately it falls to us to decide when he's having more bad time than good time but looking at him he didn't look like a dog who is currently suffering. We talked about signs that would indicate he's suffering and that quality of life is not adequate.

She also feels that unless a large tumor grew quickly, the cancer is not necessarily the cause of his discomfort and she wants to work on pain control with his back to see if that helps him. The lesions in the lung are not causing pain so the question is what is. Could be a hemangiosarcoma in the heart as they both grow and spread quickly and it's been a while since we looked there. But in the end it probably doesn't really matter whether it's there or where it is. I'm not inclined to do a lot of work to find it. Even ultrasounds are stressful.

She had the surgeon do an analysis of his nerve function in the back half and that was all normal. He didn't see any obvious growths in bones or muscles and just confirms that Chris has lower back pain.

So she took blood and urine just to check for anything new and wants to boost his pain control. She wants to add amantadine, which can in some cases boost the effectiveness of other pain killers and then there's another synthetic narcotic, an older one, that we could try since he doesn't tolerate Tramadol if the amantadine doesn't help. Plus get him back on his glucosamine supplement and add some pepcid or other stomach soothing. The surgeon felt we could go just with the oral supplement and skip adequan injections.

We also talked about a variety of drugs that can ease his life if the cancer starts to cause problems, in a hospice/palliative mode. Won't cure anything but help lift mood and general quality of life.

I'm a little concerned about kidneys as he's drank more water the past couple of days. Will see what the blood work and urinalysis shows. He'd had a 24 hour break from Lasix. But then of course his diet isn't exactly salt free..

So far so good with the Hamburger Helper (and a few hammies). As long as he doesn't bite into one of his heart medication capsules, I think he'll continue eating it.

Today wasn't his best day. She saw him in something like middlin' level of comfort. I was feeling very discouraged this morning looking at him.

But I do know that we are not interested in pre-emptive euthanasia. If things go bad, we will know what we have to do. And if they don't we will all be lucky. In the meantime, we will see if we can improve his comfort level by tackling the back and stomach.

Everybody was great with him today and we felt very lucky to have an oncologist who cares so much for Chris taking a look at his case.

Now, instead of one day at a time, it's more like one moment at a time. And a major rollercoaster. But I feel like we are currently doing what's right for him and for us. I think his vet, who I really like, was hearing my concern about quality of life that was expressed pre cancer diagnosis and got the impression that it was worse than I think it is.

The cancer diagnosis did change my... yardstick.. for what is expected from Chris. I don't know if that's right or wrong but it's like the heart rate. 200 used to scare me; now it's a level that gives me relief. Now what some panting and back problems that were scaring me sort of pale in comparison to cancer and they aren't so scary anymore. Probably totally irrational.

Okay, I'm rambling.

For tonight, we are here and no horrible decision has to be made and a margarita has improved my outlook.

Denise, no real change in insulin dose. He's been bouncing up and down but his diet has been all over the place too. Chicken and fiber-added bread last week (a little too much fiber apparently), Pinnacle kibble over the weekend, which he liked but it didn't do good things to him, and now Hamburger Helper. So I can't correlate anything. One thing we might ultimately give is pred... only if it really helps and we really have to, but I figure I can compensate.

I hope Bogie's doing okay and is not so weak. It feels like Chris' whole peer group from the CDMB has been having problems this summer.

Natalie

[rhodesian46]

Re: Chris - 14 years old - Cancer diagnosed July 08

NATALIE YOU ARE SUCH A GOOD MAMA YOU WILL KNWO WHEN IT IS TIME. GIVE CHRIS A BIG HUG AND ONE TO YOU AS WELL!
MArianne and Pebbles