Decker made his journey to the bridge Jan 26, 2013

[scoora]

Re: Decker made his journey to the bridge this afternoon

Holli-Thank you for sharing that with us. It was so touching. My baby is one of those fighting a tough fight. How wonderful of you to think of others when your heart is breaking.

[bgdavis]

Re: Decker made his journey to the bridge this afternoon

Holli,

I'm so shocked and sorry to read of Decker's passing. He gave you another act of love in moving on in his journey without requiring you to face a terrible decision. He knew he was loved and it showed in that last picture.

Hugs,
Bonnie and Angel Criss Ann

[farrwf]

Re: Decker made his journey to the bridge this afternoon

Yes Holli, thanks for sharing the rest of your day with us. It is very, very touching.

You know, sometimes I get to thinking about O's situation with the diabetes and realize that in spite of all the drawbacks with the disease, we really get to know our pups much more intimately, and develop a bond with them which is much closer than anything we had prior to their diagnosis. That is something very special.

I was touched when I read your message of Saturday evening, with the picture of Decker & Rebecca, informing us what happened, ... and, even more so when I read your message of yesterday telling us how your day was without Decker there. It made me look around and wonder what it would be like if O were not here. Very sad, indeed.

But, then again, we feel that way only because the relationship is / was so wonderful.

[Abby's Mom]

Re: Decker made his journey to the bridge this afternoon

Holli,

I have not been on line for awhile, and was totally shocked to read this. I just don't know what to say.. I do know that he was so loved by many, because of your sharing stories.

The ones that touch our lives the most, leave the greatest 'hole' when they leave. But he had such a great family to take care of him and YOU gave him the extra 14 months Holli.

Hugs to you and your family.
Barb

[Kat Negron]

Re: Decker made his journey to the bridge this afternoon

I literally gasped when I read this. Holli, I'm so very sorry. I don't know what to say that can make you feel better, but I do know that it sounds like Decker had a great life with you and your family and was so well loved.

[Blackjack'smom]

Re: Decker made his journey to the bridge this afternoon

I was thinking about how hard it would be for all of you to go back to work (and school) today and tell others about Decker's passing. How is Kinser doing without Decker around? Do the cats notice something missing? I remember when our dog, Stormy, died almost four and a half years ago now, it was one of the cats that was literally looking in all her "spots" for her. She seemed to have a rougher time than Blackjack did adjusting to the loss. They are just so much a part of our lives. When they leave us, it is such a huge hole that is left behind.Wishing you some comfort at this time. Donna

[momofdecker]

Re: Decker made his journey to the bridge this afternoon

I was thinking about how hard it would be for all of you to go back to work (and school) today and tell others about Decker's passing. How is Kinser doing without Decker around? Do the cats notice something missing? I remember when our dog, Stormy, died almost four and a half years ago now, it was one of the cats that was literally looking in all her "spots" for her. She seemed to have a rougher time than Blackjack did adjusting to the loss. They are just so much a part of our lives. When they leave us, it is such a huge hole that is left behind.Wishing you some comfort at this time. Donna

It was a difficult day yesterday. I've found that being alone with my thoughts is no fun. Dropped Rebecca off at school. Got in my vehicle to head to work and a huge wave of emotion hit me out of no where. A few of my co-workers already knew. I'd emailed some others to let them know, knowing it would be difficult to talk about. Got to work and folks said good morning. One person came up and just patted my shoulder. It was all it took - the flood gates opened. Had myself a good cry, got some others crying with me (we are a female dominated office). Was a good emotional release.

Rebecca's teacher was aware of Decker's circumstances and I'd emailed her to let her know of his passing. She'd gotten right back to me and let me know she'd make sure Rebecca had a comforting day. Put a heart candy in her lunch and wrote, "to Rebecca from Decker, please smile when you think of me today." She enjoyed that. Saw her teacher at the end of the day and she said she did ok. Rebecca misses Decker terribly. We talk to him a lot when we are together. Say good night to him every night as I tuck her in. But his physical presense is missed.

Kinser is missing him. I'd been out and about and when I came home Kinser was outside. John let him in and he came running upstairs, nosed open the door, looked at me and ran out of the room. He wasn't looking for me, he was looking for his Decker. I'd picked up Decker's collar for something and Kinser heard it and came running and looking. Decker's toys are next to Kinser's dog bed and he lays there a lot with his head rested upon the toys. Was worried yesterday because Kinser had terrible separation anxiety as a pup. He follows me right to the door every time I leave the house since Decker passed. Used his kong with a couple of treats to help ease his anxiety as a pup. Had retired the kong after Decker developed the diabetes. Got it back out yesterday. He's gotten a lot of extra attention and hugs. Thankful to have Kinser around.

Have not noticed much with the cats. Rascal loved to lay right next to Decker and purr loudly. Before Decker's hypothyroidism was diagnosed it would bother Decker to the point his nose would start twitching and I'd have to cover his snout and move Rascal so Decker didn't snap at him. Once he started his thyroid meds he had no problems with Rascal laying next to him purring. Bubby was Decker's favorite. He loved to chase her around. It was a love/hate relationship. He loved her, don't think she ever returned those feelings - lol!

Decker's vet was not the one on call when we took him in Saturday night. I'd sent her a message to let her know what happened. Got a response from her yesterday. It was a nice message. Comforting.

Today is another day. Ice everywhere. Schools are on a two hour delay. It's dark and dreary outside. Looking like it may be 'one of those days' today.

[Abby's Mom]

Re: Decker made his journey to the bridge this afternoon

Holli,

Hugs, and more Hugs sent your way. I know that there will be one day that I will lose my Abby, and I will just feel like I can't go on with feeling the loss, the emptiness the hole they she will leave in my heart.

Each day will get better, even though it doesn't feel that way now.. Small baby steps.

Hugs,
Barb

[Rubytuesday]

Re: Decker made his journey to the bridge this afternoon

In the past , you and Decker have taught me about hypothyroidism in diabetic dogs, now you are teaching me about how to help your child say goodbye to a beloved animal. I am crying with you now...

You and Decker have become such a member of the family here. When ever the animal passes on I am sure we all worry that we will soon lose the person also. You have so much to share. Of course we never know how we will need to handle it and some just need to move on as it is too painful. I truly hope not to have to miss you too.

In a very significant way I think being here after Decker is gone is a big part of living with a diabetic dog. I think of Patty and how drastically her life has changed since she is no longer doing 24/7 with Ali. Just like when you lose an elderly parent after being their caregiver, except society doesn't acknowledge the loss of an animal as much. I think in some ways the loss of the trully beloved animal is every bit as difficult. What do you do with all that time and mental focus.... hopefully we will continue to be graced by yours and Decker's presence.

You might look into the book Animal Spirit. It helped me greatly. It is written by an animal communicator about what the animals have told her about the dying & greiving process. Not sure if you go in for that, but if you do it might help to send a piture to Kinser that would convey Decker's passing. Other then that I imagine he needs healing time like everyone else in the family.

And the saying I learned here that I love....

lifting you up, Tara

p.s. I love the avatar. He is running to his new journey.

[Abby's Mom]

Re: Decker made his journey to the bridge this afternoon

And the saying I learned here that I love....

lifting you up, Tara

p.s. I love the avatar. He is running to his new journey.

Well said Tara. Patty's saying....'Lifting you up', is one of my favorites as well, and Holli, I truly love that avatar. They were exactly my thoughts... Running to his new journey...

Barb

[Judi]

Re: Decker made his journey to the bridge this afternoon

Rebecca has a great teacher. I know it will eventually get easier. I was hoping that since he passed away at home that it would click better for Kinser. Thinking of all of you. hugs, Judi

[nibbles-mommy]

Re: Decker made his journey to the bridge this afternoon

Did Kinser get to "say goodbye" to Decker by any chance? When Casey passed at home, Joey woke me at around 3:30am or so and told me. I was really beside myself and disoriented and in shock. Nibbles kept coming over to Casey and smelling her and touching her. At first I pushed him away and screamed at him because he was always bothering her. Licking her tongue when she panted, catching her pee in his mouth, bumping her away to get in front, etc. Joey said no let him say goodbye to her. So I stepped back and Nibbles smelled her, nudged, pet her, and finally laid down next to her. I'm crying just writing this gotta stop now

[Patty]

Re: Decker made his journey to the bridge this afternoon

Love the candy heart for Rebecca, Holli. So very sweet since I'm sure she was thinking of him all day.

As Tara said, when your role as intense caregiver is drastically changed it's hard to know how to adapt.

Just like when you lose an elderly parent after being their caregiver, except society doesn't acknowledge the loss of an animal as much. I think in some ways the loss of the trully beloved animal is every bit as difficult.

I found I just had to let myself grieve and keeping moving. It helped that Tim was just there for me whenever I needed to talk about Ali or cry or sit outside in the last place she was, even weeks later. His patience with my process was vast and continues.

You, John and Rebecca seem to have that type of love through Decker and can help each other through. We are here for you as well.

Take care,
Patty

[momofdecker]

Re: Decker made his journey to the bridge this afternoon

Thanks for 'lifting me up' today. Is much appreciated!

Decker was in Kinser's favorite place to lay down when he passed. Kinser was near him but did not attempt to sniff at him. He did visually see everything that happened and then saw us wrap Decker in a blanket and take him outside. I have not seen Kinser lay in that spot since. Debbie, your post brought tears to my eyes. Tara, I've been searching for a couple of different books -thanks for the tip. Had one of our students recommend the book 'Dog Heaven' as a good kids book. Looking to purchase that as well.

When he started seizing, my mind was thinking we needed to get him to the vets quickly. Almost nine years ago John's mom lost her battle with cancer. She passed away at home several hours after we'd had a private baptism ceremony for Rebecca at their home. Shortly after we'd gotten back to our house, John's dad called to tell us she'd taken a turn for the worse. The memory of watching his mom pass has stayed with John and he realized right away that Decker's breathing pattern was not right. It was the same pattern he'd seen with his mom. He knew that Decker had stopped breathing. I remember him telling me that he won't make it to the vets, that he was leaving us as we sat there around him. Will be forever thankful that we were all home and able to be there with him. To say good-bye and tell him we loved him. To tell him what a good boy he was. To tell him it was ok to go. To run with the wind. To run pain free.

His avatar picture is from a few years back. One of my favorites. How I will always remember Decker. Fast. Agile. Happy. Spirited. Care Free.


As I was putting Rebecca to bed last night she asked how many dogs I thought were in heaven. I had no idea how to answer. I asked her to name the ones she knew of. She named a few. Then mentioned the golden retriever from the diabetes site. The one who made the paw print stone. I remember showing her the picture of the Ali's stone and telling her all about Ali. I also remember telling her how sad I was when I'd learned that Ali had passed. I was so hesitant to make a stone for Decker because the paw print reminded me of his mobility challenges. Clearly the idea struck a chord with Rebecca and I'm very grateful that some folks on here helped me see how much it would mean to her.


Got a nice email from a former co-worker who learned of Decker's passing. His pup, Presto, is just a bit younger than Decker. The dogs had a few play dates in their younger years and he'd taken some pictures of them. I'd completely forgotten about them. He included the pictures in the message he sent me.

Decker, Brock (neighbor great dane) & Presto pup. Decker was around seven months old in these pictures.


At our old house... Decker made a path between the garage and the neighbor's fence. When he was wound up he'd get going and do what we called 'hot laps' around the garage. That white mound of snow is the fence between our house and Brock's house. Were times that winter we'd find either Brock in our yard or one of my boys in their yard. Brock's family moved and the new family came with three pugs and a laberdoodle. Four times the fun! Decker would run that fence line barking from the moment he got outside till we made him come inside.


And me and my baby boy. My, 'I will get you for taking a picture of me while I'm very pregnant' face...

[Patty]

Re: Decker made his journey to the bridge this afternoon

Love hearing about your stories and pictures of Decker, Holli! I know it's helped me a great deal to share mine.

Then mentioned the golden retriever from the diabetes site.

That's so very sweet. I'm glad she has the stone too since it has meaning to her.