Soaphie the sophisticated is an angel October 29, 2015

[Soaphie & Sydney's Mom]

Re: Soaphie the sophisticated is an angel October 29, 2015

As you all would guess, I'm really struggling with not having Soaph around. When Sydney passed in June (3rd) of 2014, we could focus all our attention on Soaph and still have the "routine". Now - there is nothing. I went out into the backyard for the first time just two days ago - there is no reason to go back there now. No one depends on me for breakfast or dinner, no one nosing me during the day for a quick love-touch, no one to have a commercial-break snuggle with in the evening. Nothing. Nothing.

I donated her meds, but kept her bg tester. We tested her approximately 7,830 times with that tester. I will put it in a keepsake box eventually.

I cleaned up her "medication station" (otherwise known as a "butler's pantry" area). We have a family photo there now, her blood sugar tester and a beautiful bouquet of flowers.

I started banjo lessons at the beginning of October. (mid life crisis? who knows why - but it is fun). Well - I haven't played all week. So I went to the lesson and played for the first time in a week and nearly had a break down (yet again)....I would play for Soaphie and sing to her - substituting her name (Skip to my Lou/Soaphie....Liza Jane/Soaphie...etc). (note: I don't play well and I sing even worse - but Soaphie was a good audience that enjoyed it....to her, I was a rockstar and she was my groupie).

Back to the Magic Paw. She had one white paw and it was the one she typically would punch us with. No real reason - just that she only had one of them and it was really distinctive and oh so cute.

Sniffles. Sob.

T

[clydesmum]

Re: Soaphie the sophisticated is an angel October 29, 2015

It's very early days. Be kind to yourself. The grieving process is just as real for our much-loved pooches as it is for our human family.

We are lucky enough to live in a National Park in the UK, and there is a fork in the path of Rusty's (Clyde's brother) favourite walk. He would always run ahead in the direction that took us the longest walk, pause and look at me very intently as if to say 'this way, Mum, don't take the short cut'. Every single time I walk that way I say 'hello Rusty, we'll go your way' and I picture him bounding off full of joy. A year on from losing Rusty, some days that makes me happy, other days it makes me want to cry. There's no logic.

But losing the second dog is devastating in a different way. They are so much part of our lives.

[Judi]

Re: Soaphie the sophisticated is an angel October 29, 2015

big hugs Tami.

[Abby's Mom]

Re: Soaphie the sophisticated is an angel October 29, 2015

Tami,

I fully understand. For me it was an Adele song, that I would dance and sing with Abby to...always. The day we put her down, on our way home, it played, on the radio. It would NEVER play, unless I put in the CD. Everyday that song would play, somewhere I would hear it, in stores shopping, riding down the road, in restaurants. I would always breakdown. It got so bad, that my husband would hit the change station, or turn the volume down.

Some things I did to help the grieving process. I purchased a necklace engraved her name onto to, that said....always in my heart. Printed pictures of her, so I could see her everyday....they are still up. I work from home, as well, and they are right there on my desk. I kept her fur, and still like to feel and smell it at times. There is not a day that I do not say her name, or think about her, but it has gotten easier to deal with the loss.

We each have our ways of grieving, and I do not think you ever wake up one day and feel 'better'. Thinking of you.

Hugs,
Barb

[jesse girl]

Re: Soaphie the sophisticated is an angel October 29, 2015

i think when jesse decides to leave i will do some traveling . i have not went anywhere except visiting my mom in reno and the only reason i do that is because i can take jesse with me . i will not leave her if i can help it

many people look as to say thats your life . of coarse they do not understand and unless you have walked in those shoes you could not . i am grateful for this challenge . it really taught me love and whats important . i do think it is a gift from jesse and i will be forever grateful

i like pattys way on how she handled alis passing . not to jump out to get another dog wright away . i think she rediscovered herself . as a caretaker its all about the task at hand to care for our love ones and thats the priority

i think soaph and sydney would like you to rediscover your life . try new things do some traveling . just take a break and watch the grass grow for a awhile . i so enjoy green spaces for this . i kind of like hugging trees . it always makes me feel better to just be in a quiet place

i think as you said the routine is over whats to do . you will change . patty has and the rest of the bunch on the forum you can read it in there posts . i think thats the scary part the change as we all do as we get older being a child , teenager , adult and elderly . its the cycles of life cant go back

i will miss jesse when she leaves terribly but i will miss myself and how i was with her just as i miss being a child but we find a way to start a new page in our life's story and begin again in our cycles of life

without the pain we could not understand love

[Patty]

Re: Soaphie the sophisticated is an angel October 29, 2015

Barb's post reminded me that I wore Ali's tags on a necklace chain for months after she was gone. I kept them (her) close to my heart as a way to cope. The emptiness was so lonely and silence deafening.

And, like Jesse girl, I traveled eventually. But there was also a guilt that went with that. Why did she have to go in order for me to be free? Or, she would have loved it ___ (insert wherever "here" was). So I took photos of her tags hanging there. Felt crazy doing it but it brought me comfort.

I never did get to see the fall colors in the CO mountains over the 3 years we lived there because we couldn't go that far while she was alive. But I wouldn't have changed caring for her... I will experience them someday.

I did the "borrow and give back" thing for a while. Keeping a friend's dog or mushing on passing goldens like you are doing at the shelter. But each of us has our own way of dealing.

The pain of losing my "heart-dog" has lessened, but my heart still isn't ready for the commitment of another pup yet. My life has changed a lot. I'm busier, have made my health a priority (since I wasn't doing anything AT all while in caretaker role), and I now have the luxury/option of spontaneously taking a trip or seeing family without worrying about fragile bgs in a very brittle diabetic dog.

That said, NEVER would I have changed a day with my girl. She has forever shaped my life, my outlook, my knowledge, my compassion, my insight (you never know who is fighting the hard battle from looking on the outside), and my heart.

Give yourself time. Fumble through what helps. Share it here when you can. This community is certainly a family and we learn from each other even in the void.

I remember meeting you in 2008 on the Yuku board Tami. That's 7 years! Seems amazing to me, yet that's the special bond we form through these sugar pups.

Praying for comfort as you (and Mandy and others) are navigating this journey,
Patty <3

[Soaphie & Sydney's Mom]

Re: Soaphie the sophisticated is an angel October 29, 2015

You guys are so awesome. I so appreciate every word.

I am going to visit my family for a long weekend. I haven't been back to my home town in seven years (mostly because it's FARGO and it's COLD). lol

I did reach out about this dog (scroll down to "Susie"):

http://www.prbcr.org/courtesyListing...ylistings.html

I've been corresponding with the parent of "susie" today...and forwarding the emails to husband. Not sure if he will fall for it or not...

[Patty]

Re: Soaphie the sophisticated is an angel October 29, 2015

Oh she's beautiful Tami. And a young girl. Wonder what her story is. She looks like a mix of your girls too.

Enjoy your trip and safe travels to you! Better to go now than in a few months when it's really frigid!

[Soaphie & Sydney's Mom]

Re: Soaphie the sophisticated is an angel October 29, 2015

from the emails from the lady - Susie chases her cats non-stop - some of which are 13 years old and don't appreciate it. I guess they hired a behaviourist to try and help - but he said he can't fix it.

We'll see - still need to convince E.

[Judi]

Re: Soaphie the sophisticated is an angel October 29, 2015

what a pretty girl! and her name starts with an S so I think that is a sign.

enjoy your trip! It's in the 50's right now, cold for you southerners

There is so much sadness on the forum right now losing a couple of our special girls and remembering other ones.

I just want to have Jesse Girl's outlook on life when I finish maturing.

big sigh. Judi

[Abby's Mom]

Re: Soaphie the sophisticated is an angel October 29, 2015

She is a pup, and beautiful. Such energy, and fun.

[Eddie]

Re: Soaphie the sophisticated is an angel October 29, 2015

I was very sorry to hear about Soaphie. It is so hard to lose our constant companions.

I found it hard when we lost our little Toby dog earlier this year, and we still have three other dogs including diabetic Eddie. It must make your house very empty to have lost both your girls so I completely understand you thinking about Susie (who looks lovely).

A few weeks after we lost Toby I re-read the poem "A Dog's Will and Testament" and we thought it might be time to find another dog to fill Toby's bed. I trawled the rescue sites and initially found a little white terrier dog rather like Toby. My husband said that maybe we should look for one that was quite different as we couldn't replicate Toby. So...I found a rescued Bedlington terrier girl who we adopted. We soon found that she was pregnant and went on to have five puppies. I often used to imagine Toby looking down on us dealing with her five naughty, bitey, fight-y puppies (and their endless wet newspapers) and thought he would be having a good laugh at us all.

Everyone feels differently about when it is right to think about another dog and it all depends on your own situation, but there are so many in need of loving homes, and not enough people to love them as they need.

Antonia

[Cara Sandler]

Re: Soaphie the sophisticated is an angel October 29, 2015

What a beautiful girl!

I can tell you that after I lost Sparky, Spirit helped me heal (and I signed a contract for her just 6 weeks after Sparky passed, and brought her home 7 weeks after that). She didn't take Sparky's place, but she somehow managed to create her own space in my heart, and now I can't imagine life without her. So glad you're looking into Susie :-)

[amydunn19]

Re: Soaphie the sophisticated is an angel October 29, 2015

What a lovely girl! I have to have a furry band-aid for my heart every time I lose a special animal. I just have to have something living to care for - it may seem really selfish or the wrong reason, I guess in a way but I don't feel like I am replacing a dog. I think our babies take up so much of our hearts, that when they are gone, we just don't have anything to use all that love for and I don't want it to go away. The thing is I have always had dogs I adored and loved but Maggie is different and I really just don't know how I will function without her. I really worry and have so much anxiety - will her time be up in 6 months , 1 month, a week, a few days ? It has definitely pushed me to spend more time with her. But my life and schedule revolve around her. She is my identity and I am not sure who I really am if I am not Maggie's mom. I think that must be the hardest part. My husband always says we can do all of this traveling and doing fun stuff that we haven't done much in years. I just can't imagine what a normal life was before diabetes so none of that appeals to me.

Grieving is just so personal and I think you just follow your heart - no right or wrong time lines. Just do whatever to get through the days.

[jim maceri]

Re: Soaphie the sophisticated is an angel October 29, 2015

Just visited the board and read about Sophie. I'm so very sorry. Good thoughts coming your way.