fred nov 2001 to april 2 2014

[sherryandfred]

Re: fred nov 2001 to april 2 2014

Sherry, that love and grief is what makes you a great pet parent. I think it's only harder when they require so much care: our lives do revolve around them and their meds. It's ok to let yourself grieve.

Laura

thank you..yes i am loss at what i have to do now every day..its strange i dont have to get up and force him to eat enough for his shot..this morning i went to the stove to make his egg.and realized what i was doing..they do require so much of our time but so worth it..if i had to do it again i would..just so hard to say good bye...

[Abby's Mom]

Re: fred nov 2001 to april 2 2014

thank you..yes i am loss at what i have to do now every day..its strange i dont have to get up and force him to eat enough for his shot..this morning i went to the stove to make his egg.and realized what i was doing..they do require so much of our time but so worth it..if i had to do it again i would..just so hard to say good bye...

Yes, yes, and yes. It is just a mix of emotions. One hand, the loss is tremendous, and on the other hand, you feel like a big weight has been lifted off, and then on the other hand... you feel guilty for thinking this, because in a heart beat you would do it again.

I know. I loved Abby, and but I hated the disease. Take care of yourself now. Enjoy that puppy of yours.

Barb

[Riliey and Mo]

Re: fred nov 2001 to april 2 2014

Hey Sherry

Sorry to hear your Fred has crossed the bridge. Run Freddy run free boy!

Sherry I would of done the same thing. It gets better, honest.

Thinking of you. Have a great summer free of worry.

Mo

[sherryandfred]

Re: fred nov 2001 to april 2 2014

Yes, yes, and yes. It is just a mix of emotions. One hand, the loss is tremendous, and on the other hand, you feel like a big weight has been lifted off, and then on the other hand... you feel guilty for thinking this, because in a heart beat you would do it again.

I know. I loved Abby, and but I hated the disease. Take care of yourself now. Enjoy that puppy of yours.

Barb

wow thank you for that because that is what i feel every word i feel that way..and i felt bad for feeling that way.. we were lucky to have them in our life alot of people would have given up on them thats for sure..i tried to fight as long as i could for him..we just ran out of fight..thank you..i will try to be ok with it..cant wait to go home and kiss abby...

[Danielle N]

Re: fred nov 2001 to april 2 2014

Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss. Barb has summed it up beautifully..it seems we are all feeling the same things and we'd all do it again in a heartbeat.

[Patty]

Re: fred nov 2001 to april 2 2014

Sherry,
I'm just reading this and am so sorry to hear about Fred. God speed to your boy. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Patty

[Rubytuesday]

Re: fred nov 2001 to april 2 2014

Yes, yes, and yes. It is just a mix of emotions. One hand, the loss is tremendous, and on the other hand, you feel like a big weight has been lifted off, and then on the other hand... you feel guilty for thinking this, because in a heart beat you would do it again.

I know. I loved Abby, and but I hated the disease. Take care of yourself now. Enjoy that puppy of yours.

Barb

wow thank you for that because that is what i feel every word i feel that way..and i felt bad for feeling that way.. we were lucky to have them in our life alot of people would have given up on them thats for sure..i tried to fight as long as i could for him..we just ran out of fight..thank you..i will try to be ok with it..cant wait to go home and kiss abby...

Isn't it funny how clear minded you can be on someone else's thread and not when you think of your own dog.

Different context, but someone who is turning out to be a rare, effective manager at my new place of employment said that when trying to resolve conflict with a coworker you should focus the critique on the behavior instead of on the person. In my head I was thinking "Yup, yup." Then I realized that I never approach it that way. In my mind I always have this baseline judgement of the person that colors my perception of the whole exchange, which I imagine is conveyed to the person. WOW! A good manager really is worth their weight in gold.

Anyway...while I was reading Barb's post and your response I realized this is the answer to the quilt we feel. Both the grief and the relief get all jumbled up together so that it is hard for us to distinguish just what we are relieved about.

Are we relieved we no longer have our Ruby's, Abby's and precious Fred's to cuddle with? Are we relieved we no longer have their smootchy little faces to kiss a million times. Am I relieved I no longer have her to lie against my back..... God no.

We are relieved, or dare I say thrilled to no longer have to contend with this disease day in and day out. yes our freedom does come at a great cost, but we would some day eventually pay that price regardless.

What is so difficult is to tease the two apart, the loss of our friends and the inevitable freedom that comes with their absence.

For so long many of us have lived by this disease, that the disease almost fuses with the animal, but it is not the animal. It is just the disease that has caused many of us to sacrifice so much out of love for our friends. We can try to separate the two if only by identifying them more clearly in our minds.

When we sense relief that we don't have to rush home for an injection and a meal, that is all it is. It isn't relief that we don't have to rush home to see our cherished animals. We would all walk through burning glass to be with them for one more hour, even one more pet of her jowls and to lay my head on hers.

No, we need not feel any guilt. Label out loud what you are relieved about and I assure no where will you hear Fred's name.

Tara

[sherryandfred]

Re: fred nov 2001 to april 2 2014

Isn't it funny how clear minded you can be on someone else's thread and not when you think of your own dog.

Different context, but someone who is turning out to be a rare, effective manager at my new place of employment said that when trying to resolve conflict with a coworker you should focus the critique on the behavior instead of on the person. In my head I was thinking "Yup, yup." Then I realized that I never approach it that way. In my mind I always have this baseline judgement of the person that colors my perception of the whole exchange, which I imagine is conveyed to the person. WOW! A good manager really is worth their weight in gold.

Anyway...while I was reading Barb's post and your response I realized this is the answer to the quilt we feel. Both the grief and the relief get all jumbled up together so that it is hard for us to distinguish just what we are relieved about.

Are we relieved we no longer have our Ruby's, Abby's and precious Fred's to cuddle with? Are we relieved we no longer have their smootchy little faces to kiss a million times. Am I relieved I no longer have her to lie against my back..... God no.

We are relieved, or dare I say thrilled to no longer have to contend with this disease day in and day out. yes our freedom does come at a great cost, but we would some day eventually pay that price regardless.

What is so difficult is to tease the two apart, the loss of our friends and the inevitable freedom that comes with their absence.

For so long many of us have lived by this disease, that the disease almost fuses with the animal, but it is not the animal. It is just the disease that has caused many of us to sacrifice so much out of love for our friends. We can try to separate the two if only by identifying them more clearly in our minds.

When we sense relief that we don't have to rush home for an injection and a meal, that is all it is. It isn't relief that we don't have to rush home to see our cherished animals. We would all walk through burning glass to be with them for one more hour, even one more pet of her jowls and to lay my head on hers.

No, we need not feel any guilt. Label out loud what you are relieved about and I assure no where will you hear Fred's name.

Tara

wow!! well said tara....i miss him so much every day but its him i miss not everything that came with him...5yrs is a lot of years to have to change your life for an animal but you are right i will do it in a heart beat again...i am so glad he is pain free now..our kids are coming over today for the first time since he is has been gone..i am going to let them read this thread and see how loved our animals are..thank you again....

[tdpetunia]

Re: fred nov 2001 to april 2 2014

I am so sorry for your loss. I heard something that might be comforting for you. Ira Glass and It's American Life has a great radio show. The one I am referring to (see link below) is of his dog Pinie. The whole show is great! I thought this might warm your heart. What we do for our animals and the other way around.

http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radi...acrifice?act=3

[sherryandfred]

Re: fred nov 2001 to april 2 2014

I am so sorry for your loss. I heard something that might be comforting for you. Ira Glass and It's American Life has a great radio show. The one I am referring to (see link below) is of his dog Pinie. The whole show is great! I thought this might warm your heart. What we do for our animals and the other way around.

http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radi...acrifice?act=3

Thank you!!! I will check it out.. We are truly amazing people for what we have done for our animals I know many people that would have given up long time ago..I always go why are you keeping him alive use to drive me nuts...I always promised when I knew it was time I would let him go and I did just that...