Godspeed to Kyla who passed away today June 30 2010

[mik2sand]

Hi -- my Westie is 15-1/2 yrs old, Kyla. She has been on vetsulin 9 units twice a day for 2 yrs with DCO diet, did well, but gradually had diminished eyesight. In March she started slowly losing her appetite, had to coax her and hand feed her. Now it's gotten where she refuses to eat her food, even when I hand feed her. I have tried putting different things in it to entice her, which have worked in the past. Sometimes she'll nibble at it, but then just stares into space and I have to end up feeding her, which isn't easy as she is spitting out every other piece. Took her to vet, did complete blood panel (last year's was fine). it showed very abnormal liver and kidney function, elevated white count, no fever, but physical exam was fine when he palpated organs, and glucose test was 135. He switched her to NPH, 7 units twice daily. After 1 week, took a fasting glucose, it was 600! Upped dose to 9 units twice daily over a week, and her fasting glucose was back to 137. Problem is she still won't eat. Tried giving her dog food she used to eat pre-diabetes, nibbled, but then refused rest of it. next day tried mixing it with eggs, and 3 tiny crumbles of bacon, hate half of it with what seemed to be an appetite, then had to hand feed the rest of it. when I try to give her the DCO, i literally have to force it into her mouth, while she is spitting out every other piece. Mealtime is stressful for both of us. I dont now if she hates the dog food, or just has no appetite. I have tried EVERY thing I can think of to get her to eat. I even gave her a bowl of chicken with some brown rice, no dog food, thinking she would eat if she did not smell the dog food. Ate half the chicken, spit out the rice all over the floor. Her stomach may be shrinking because of old age. The one answer I can't find is exactly how much food must she eat in order to safely take her full insulin shot. I don't want to be forcing more food in her than her stomach can handle. she's always had 1/2 cup twice a day. within the past 6 months has gone totally blind, and she gets blood tinged mucos from her nose occasionally, so I don't know if her sense of smell is affected, or if it's depression or old age or the kidneys that's causing the loss of appetite. I am at my wit's end trying to figure out how to help her or why she is acting the way she is. She has lost 2 pounds since March. I don't know what to feed her. She had teeth checked, cleaned, everything is fine so I know it's not her teeth. I know her food has to be consistent each day and I shoudn't be experimenting with different amounts and kinds of food each day because it will throw off her numbers. She's always eaten dry food her whole life. Does anyone have any suggestions of a good commercial dry dog food that might entice her and yet be suitable for diabetes, not the prescription ones, because I'm reading a lot of bad stuff about the main ingredient of the corn. (I was considering Blue Longevity Mature dog), or something I could cook for her? I've tried cooking everything I can think of, nothing appeals to her. I sit there crying with her at every mealtime, and really need advice on how to help her. Thanks.

[eileen]

Re: New to forum, please help, refusing to eat

While I can't offer any food suggestions other than what you are already trying I just want to tell you that I can totally sympathize with you...

Your last sentence of sitting there crying with every meal brought back the memories of me doing the same for a very long time (several years) with my Mildred.
For several years I had to do exactly what you are doing and with everyday feeling sick come mealtime as I knew what was to come. It's horrible, I know.

I'm not sure from your post as to whether or not you home test or if these readings were ones taken by your vet.
If you do not home test it may be something for you to start. I've always home tested so with this long spell of Mildred not eating or eating very little I was able to adjust her insulin dose accordingly.
I learned to do the best I could do with the situation and for the majority of the time was able to keep her in a decent range.

I'm wondering if your Kyla will eat other things offered to her as snacks or if she refuses all food in general. This would help to know if she has developed some problem with 'mealtime' or to all food.

After much experimentation my solution was to go to completely home cooking, pureed together as she just would not eat kibble or even larger pieces of veggies or chicken.

This may also sound silly but Mildred will not eat out of a bowl but once going to a plate also helped. That suggestion was given to me by someone who also found their dog not wanting food in a bowl.

You say that her liver and kidney function is abnormal, is this a big concern to your vet and wondering what if anything is being done, such as meds or supplements.

I'm sorry for what you are going thru and wish you much luck in finding a solution very soon.

[Chloe's Mom]

Re: New to forum, please help, refusing to eat

Well Bless your heart.....you have been through the mill, that is for sure. What did your Vet say about the elevated kidney and liver values? How high were they? Kidney failure will cause a loss of appetite. I would want to get some advice from your Vet right away. I am no expert, but elevated white count could indicate infection of some kind I believe.

One thing you might try in the meantime is Gerber baby food. My Westie Mattie (we lost her two years ago from kidney failure) would eat that when she would eat nothing else. She liked the Chicken and gravy one.

Please let us know what your Vet says.

Hugs and you and Kyla,

Heidi and Chloe

[Patty]

Re: New to forum, please help, refusing to eat

What a time of it you two are having. First of all, congratulations on 15 1/2 years. Can you tell us more about what her kidney and liver values were? Does the vet suspect renal failure at all? The blood in her nasal mucous sounds concerning as well.

You mentioned on 7u fasting bg was 600 and with a 2 unit increase fasting was then 137. Have you had a full curve done since the switch to NPH? I ask because the change in insulin could change the shape of her curve entirely and I wonder if rebound is a possibility. Erratic blood sugar can create quite a havoc on the hormones/organ systems.

You asked about how much food Kyla needs to eat to give a full dose of insulin. As a general rule, dogs can have 1/3 to 1/2 of their usual insulin dose without food to meet the body's basal needs. Do you home test her blood sugar?

There are several people here feeding Blue Buffalo dog food. I'll let them answer questions you have. If you want to search a few threads as well. Daisy's Noodle is on BB: http://www.k9diabetes.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1662 Kevin's Ozzi is eating canned BB: http://www.k9diabetes.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1706

Robert had quite a time getting Mik to eat as well and often had to base his injections on how many calories he thought Mik had eaten: http://www.k9diabetes.com/forum/showthread.php?t=657

There are a lot of great people here that can hopefully offer some help. Welcome to you.
Patty

[buddingartist]

Re: New to forum, please help, refusing to eat

Hi Mik2sand

I so feel for you. The crying at every meal is still vivid in my memory and our babies feel our pain and anxiety.

I too have a Westie that went through that stage. Do you by any chance test for keytones? No long after Buddy was dx in January of this year, it turned out that he had acute ketoacidosis and pancreatitis.

Not long after, he lost his eyesight and we saw a big change in his personality, demeanour and it really changed him a lot. The vet suspects a bit of anxiety.

He also had elevated liver enzymes, elevated white cell count, cholesterol etc, etc.

I have to share that Buddy also had major skin issues due to allergies and since I changed his diet to Horizon Legacy for adult - grain free, his paws have been cleared of bleeding sores for about 10 days. He also had gum infection but that could have been a transfer of infection from the paw to the mouth, when he licked incessantly.

I now pour hot water over the kibbles and strir until it created some kind of gravy and add a bit of white meat on top. With that new trick, he never misses a meal.

Then he went through another bout and the vet suggested an ultra sound. It revealed that he had 2 small stones in the bladder and cholestasis (which is basically sludge in the bile ducts). They don't want to eat because they have difficulty digesting the food. The vet prescribed meds for it... SAMe (Denosyl), Vit 3 (200 mg) per day and Ursodiol. The last one caused significant problems (severe bloody diarrhea and vomitting) and we had to stop it. Since yesterday, we are trying it again only we significantly reduced the dosage and monitoring how he is adapting to it. So far, so good on the ursodiol.

They suggested that the stones in the bladder were very small and they could be passed or alternatively, spend another $700 to have them removed. Just 2 weeks ago, he developed a UTI (I test using the Regent strips so we caught it at the onset) and was put an antibiotics for 2 weeks. The UTI is now clear as well.

Those infections (however minor) could have been the cause of the elevated white cell count.

Good luck to you and be kind to yourself
Louise

[Joan]

Re: New to forum, please help, refusing to eat

Louise is absolutely right, we do the best we can, and be kind to yourself.

|I dont know much about renal troubles, but my diabetic pug had liver disease, and extremely elevated liver enzymes. she would not eat in the beginning, and I gave her anything and everything she would eat to keep her going. The samE (denosyl) that Louise mentioned, is the best thing for liver health, and no side effects. With liver troubles, the ammonia can build up in the blood, (also bilirubin) and then they feel that bad it compunds the problem. the less they eat, the worse they feel, the less they eat and so on.

I was with you on the crying and praying at every meal, and the helplessness. One day Bella looked like she might be mildly interested in the pancakes we were having for breakfast. I gave her some, and she ate her first meal in 3 days. I began adding things to the pancakes, cod, veggies, pumpkin, etc until I had a pretty much balanced diet. Since that time, more than a year ago, she has not missed a meal. BTW Red meat is not good for dogs with liver disease, you might need to stay with chicken, fish etc.

I hope that you are home testing, or considering starting, as it is about the only thing that got Bella thru the not eating stage. it is still a bit of guesswork when they eat sparingly, or end up eating unorthodox meals, but at least you can track and make adjustments in the meantime.

Many prayers and hugs, Joan

[mik2sand]

Re: New to forum, please help, refusing to eat

Thanks for all the suggestions, questions, and concerns. No, I don't home test -- I went out last week and bought the glucometer and supplies, but I'm just afraid to do it. I feel so bad about sticking her twice a day for these years as it is. As far as snacking vs. if it's just a mealtime problem, it really depends. Kyla is a very stubborn dog -- more stubborn than my little spoiled Yorkie used to be! If she gets something in her mind, there is no way to change it. If I put something in my hand for a snack, sometimes she'll gobble it up, other times she turns her nose up, even if it's to what she loved the day before. All the snacks she's loved for the past 2 years (cheerios, chex) she won't even touch now. just for the heck of it last week when I was trying to get her to want something, anything, I gave her the tiniest bit of a chocolate chip cookie (I know, that's no-no), but she ate it. So i thought gee, maybe she's just tired of all the same dog food and she's trying to hold out for goodies, and at least it was a glimmer of hope that her appetite was still there. but yesterday I tried it again -- she turned her nose up to it. What works one day, doesn't the next. it's a no-win situation. I will try the plate though, instead of a bowl. I'm afriad I got her used to eating out of my hand, but I really had no choice -- and I wouldn't mind feeding her each morsel out of my hand, if she would eat it, but that's the problem -- most days she won't. She's been eating 1/2 c food for these 2 yrs, now she seems to stop at 1/4 cup, even when I'm feeding her -- is that enough for her, and am I just shoving food down her that she can't tolerate? Being older, is it possible her stomach is just shrinking? I know mine is as I'm aging. I don't know anymore. As far as the kidney abnormalities, no, she is not on any meds. The vet I used to go to who diagnosed her diabetes, really was out to get all the money possible, and when they boarded her one time, they let her crash 3 separate times, without telling me, until I picked her up -- it was a mess. since then she's been different, that's when her eyesight started failing, she trembles more, sleeps more, etc. so It's really hard to notice "symptoms". I went to a new vet last year, and they let me rely more on how I tell them she's reacting at home rather than rush to tons of tests because they understand the dogs get anxiety when in the vet's office. with the kidneys and liver, I don't know if this is wrong, but I feel she is over 15, she sleeps all day long, just gets up when I carry her outside to do her business, then comes back in, back to sleep. I push food into her, crying, begging, and sometimes yelling that I'm only trying to help her, and then hugging her. she's gone from losing her vision to totally blind (which is when all the not eating started, could it be depression???) she walks around, bumps into everything, I'm afraid she's gonna really hurt herself, though I've tried to make things safe. I lead her to water, she refuses, and will go pacing through the house until she finds the water on her own. she'll lay there at night, and as she breathes she "trembles" sometimes, like you see with puppies. she paces around and around (which is what my Yorkie used to do when she was 18, pacing just to keep moving) but then panics because she I guess forgets where she is, so I'll have to pick her up and bring her to a "safe" zone. She's been on so many meds for "little" infections through these 2 years, so many tests, needle pricks, that I just don't know if putting her on kidney and liver med to prolong this non-quality of life she is having, for what, a few months longer than if no meds, only to have the same problems anyway because of the diabetes? To me, it seems cruel. My vet understands what I'm saying, he said she's definitely not in any "suffering" stage, and he quite honestly does not understand why her WBC was elevated without fever, and why the glucose was 600 (fasting without her morning shot) just that one time. especially since 3 days before her number was 138. like i said, the numbers are back to normal, she hasn't had a "curve" but I've taken her in 3 times in one day for him to check the different levels (I can't bear leaving her in a cage, blind, not knowing where she is, in the vet's). The liver and kidneys I really feel are just a part of her old age process (she's not in failure). Like I said, this non-eating seems to have coincided with when I "think" her eyesight totally went. when she drinks her water, it seems like she lowers her tongue to it so cautiously, and hits the sides of the bowl before she actually gets it. same with the food. and when I give her something out of my hand, she snaps at the air looking for it, or goes to pick it up but then misses it. She flinches when she goes outside to the point of sometimes falling over. I've bought her sun doggles and a hat, to block the sun, because I thought the light was bothering her, which helped for awhile, but now she flinches when it's sunny, cloudy, or rainy outsoide, and flinches if you put your hand anywhere near her face. Could she just be so afraid and upset because she can't see? I don't know how to help her. I've spent so much time researching on the internet to find solutions, lost so much time from work doing it, and my head spins from all the conflicting advice -- on top of all the horror stories about the Vetsulin. how could she be happy when all she does is sleep and now she does everything in darkness. I can't see pumping more meds in her that might have worse effects (I don't even like taking meds myself). And even though it's been a big financial burden, that's not where I'm coming from, this is all purely emotional about doing what's best for her, if only she could tell me what was troubling her. As I'm writing this, it's got me to thinking more about if there is a correlation between the blindess, not being able to "find" the food in my hand, not eating, all as a result of depression. Does anyone have a dog that's gone blind that could tell me how they helped their friend cope with it, and how they made things easier for them?
One more question (I know I'm lengthy), my old vet always drilled into my mind Vetsulin, DCO, not eating, no Vetsulin, half eating, Half Vetsulin, no other food because it will upset dosage. Well, Vetsulin's been recalled, and she doesn't seem to want the DCO anymore. so on regular NHP human insulin, how does it work? if she ate 1/2 c DCO, would I give her the same amount of a different dog food? and if she only hate 3/4 of that, would it be safe to give her the WHOLE shot? I know my vet said if she ate 1/2 of it, to only give her 6 units (she's on 9), but what is the cutoff point of how little can she eat and still get the full 9 units? and if I tried giving her "people" food, how do I correlate it to how much she should have, by the same 1/2 cup, or is it by calories or what? And what about the corn in the prescription dog foods, I've read so much of it, isn't that bad for diabetics? but how do I find a comparable dog food that is suitable for her? I know I have so many questions, but I've just been trying to solve so many of her problems all at one time -- she had been doing so good for 2 years I just got into a routine and started taking all this for granted. now I'm back to trying to relearn things. thanks for any additional advice/.

[buddingartist]

Re: New to forum, please help, refusing to eat

I can't offer any advice on dosage of insulin depending on food quantity as I am a newbie myself and there are plenty of experts on this board who can help you.

I can offer empathy inasmuch as the loss of vision is concerned. Buddy changed radically when he went blind (which happened almost overnight). Where he used to chase his sister in the backyard and run like a crazy little puppy, he no longer does that. He can smell animals in the vicinity, runs and then stops abruptly because he has run right in to the fence or the fence post. He has come to rely more on his sense of smell. He can't stand being left alone now, he definitely suffers from insecurity. Where he used to sleep at the foot on our bed, he now needs to be near mommy or daddy and wants to snuggle and feel us close to him. Yes, he also definitely sleeps a lot more.

We found that by leashing him around the house and <naming< the rooms that we took him into helped and he eventually learned to navigate well. At first, I also sprayed Febreze on the floor, door frames and the walls leading to the front door (for his walks) and back door (for his business) kitchen for his treats.

We also have to leash him to take him outside for his business and, we have to pull him to go out and to get onto the grassy area but the minute we put the leash on in the house, he is happy as he feels more secure. If we unleash him too quickly outside, he just sits in the corner of the yard close to the house and does not move. We constantly keep talking to him, mommy's back, mommy's here, step, down, oups banged your head?, and we now keep our tone of voice very light. Everything I read suggested that you should talk to the animal in an upbeat tone of voice and this is what we try to do. Periodically, I sing him his favourite song <You are my sunshine.....< and he just loves it.

It took me (us - hubby and I) a while to realize that we were more devastated by the loss of his eyesight than he was and once we accepted it and became more relaxed, Buddy started learning his way around by himself. I now serve his food in a china plate and clink on the plate when I put his food down. I also put a bell around his sister's collar so he knows where she is when daddy takes them out for a walk.

Yes, he had <accidents< ... jumped right over the armrest of the couch and landed on the floor, fell off the deck, etc and I did shed a lot of tears. They do adapt and I will surmise that because they can't see, they need to feel you close so Buddy has become a real little cuddler.

Our little man is not healthy either and we try and make him as comfortable and take all the cuddles that we can while we still have him and I still think he is a happy little man.

Just don't forget to be kind to yourself also

Louise

[Patty]

Re: New to forum, please help, refusing to eat

There's a great thread another member started a while back with some great tips for blind dogs: http://www.k9diabetes.com/forum/show...ght=blind+tips

Keeping the pathways clear and even putting carpet runners down to mark the path to/from rooms can be helpful. Some use scents on the doorways as well.

[k9diabetes]

Re: New to forum, please help, refusing to eat

I am going to write you a longer reply later but just wanted to say hello right now and welcome to the forum. You have a lot to deal with for your girl and I know she knows how much you love her.

Natalie

[k9diabetes]

Re: New to forum, please help, refusing to eat


We went through some of what you are dealing with with Chris during his last year.

He slept most of the time and was more withdrawn and it became difficult to get him to eat. He would eat something for a few days and then turn his nose up at it and we would switch to something else. He ate all kinds of things - Hamburger Helper, Rice-A-Roni mixed with chicken, beef stew... we tried pretty much everything.

On days when he turned his nose up at hamburger, I knew he was not himself. We would just say okay, today you don't have to eat if you don't want to.

We tested blood sugar at home and had learned over time by starting with a small dose at first that he could get about half his insulin if he refused to eat anything. So on those days we just gave him half his insulin and tried again at the next meal to get him to eat.

We spent a lot of time and money testing him - blood panels, x-rays, ultrasounds... he already had a lot of health problems. We were not able to find the cause of his withdrawal, sleeping, and lack of appetite until just two weeks before he passed away. That was when we found tumors in his lungs that most likely were the spread of cancer that started somewhere else.

So sometimes even when you do look and do all the tests, you don't find what's going on. In a way it is old age... yes, in Chris' case there was cancer. But he was 14, which is quite old for a dog his size, and his body was giving out.

That has a hard moment to come to... But we had known time was short for a while and we just tried to make the most of it. As you are doing now.

So you do what you can for them and make the best of what you can't.

I think you could probably safely give 1/4 of the insulin dose if she won't eat at all. If you're concerned that's too much, just give a tiny bit of insulin. And I would try, as we did, to get her to eat with new things but don't be surprised if they don't work.

The one thing Chris never refused was his "hammies" - burgers from the drive-thru window. That always got his attention! Maybe there is something like that for her.

Your love for her is very touching and I know what a heartbreaking time it can be with a dog who is old and frail.

Please give her a gentle hug or pat - whatever she would like - from me.

Natalie

[CarolW]

Re: New to forum, please help, refusing to eat

Hi Mik2sand,

I just want to welcome you here, and also, to empathize with you. There are times we just cannot find out what to do for our dogs, especially when they are old and frail, and I believe that during those times, the best we can do is to let them know how deeply we love them.

You very clearly have all love possible in your heart for your dog.

It's REALLY tough to hide our feelings from our dogs, but I always attempted to, even when my heart was breaking for them. I suppose it's good exercise for our own emotions when we make the attempt. How much we fool them, I don't know - not a lot! So I found really that the best thing I could do was to cuddle gently, and to do my best not to cry or yell with my dog(s).

I didn't always succeed. Much of the time, I did, though.

I'll be here cheering you on, and rooting for you and Kyla.

Tue, 29 Jun 2010 10:33:51 (PDT)

[Noodle]

Re: New to forum, please help, refusing to eat

Hello & Welcome!

My dog, Noodle, was mentioned as a dog that has done very well on Blue Buffalo. He was originally put on DCO and we had a pretty crummy result with it - huge food spikes with meals. He didn't really have an issue eating it (he'll eat pretty much anything, lol) but he certainly didn't eat with the gusto he does the BB. I eventually tried adding various proteins to it to flatten his curve (chicken, scrabbled eggs) with pretty good results. But with the BB, I don't have to add anything to get great results. I personally suspect it's the high amount of corn in DCO. Noodle gets huge spike from anything with corn, so I have eliminated it from his diet, including treats.

One of the things I used to do when we were still working towards regulation and his appetite wasn't normal, was to add parmesan cheese. I used the good stuff (Parmigiano-Reggiano) and grated it with a microplane. That made it very light and fluffy and easy to coat every piece. It had a strong smell and a salty taste that Noodle found pretty irresistible, so it made it much easier to get a full meal into him before his injection.

You've both been hit with a lot and I'm sure it's further complicated by her advanced age. I don't have any experience with blindness (yet), but it seems some dogs have a more difficult adjustment period than others. I think that could certainly contribute to how she is feeling and acting on a daily basis.

I know it's hard but try not to make any assumptions about what your dog will and won't tolerate. Many people find their way to the board and are convinced their dog will be very difficult to BG test or that it will hurt them. Most find that it really doesn't bother them at all. My advice is to take a deep breath and give it a try. The worst possible scenario is that you find some places that don't work for both of you. But chances are VERY much in your favor, that you WILL find places to successfully test. Don't rule any of them out until you try them. You may miss the perfect spot.

We're here to listen if you just need to vent. Sometimes it can make a big difference just to be able to share the difficulties with a group of people who "get it". Hang in there. (Hugs)

[mik2sand]

New to forum, please help, refusing to eat

I'm new here, posted a few threads about Kyla and her worsening problems, seeking advice. Kyla is a 15 and a half year old Westie. She has always been such a perfect little girl. Over two yrs ago, she was diagnosed with diabetes. Took about 3 months to get her regulated. she's been doing pretty well, considering. there are times when it was a challenge to get her to eat, but she usually just wanted to please me, so she ate her DCO, even though she had always been used to other foods.

Her eyesight gradually diminished. In about March things started getting bad. I noticed she would sleep a lot more than usual, bump into things more, and have bouts of thirst, and also start pacing through the house very agitated. But then she would settle down, and be ok.

She started losing her appetite about then, very gradually, so I didn't think too much of it. About a month ago she started refusing to eat, and I had to hand feed her every meal in order to give her a shot, which she did reluctantly, but still, she wanted to please. I took her to the vet, her BG was fine, and he told me just to hang in there, old age can diminish appetites.

he also had to switch her from Vetsulin to NPH. Was on 9 units of Vetsulin, switched to 7 units of NPH to start with. That was on a Friday. By Monday, her BG tests were raising, so he told me to get her up to the 9 units over the next few days, which I did.

That Sunday I knew something more was going on. She started pacing around frantically, and just kept drinking more and more, but yet she was not urinating as much as I thought she should have been for all she was drinking. I did a urine test, it was ok. Oh, and over the past 2 months she started vomiting bile, again gradually so it didn't seem too serious. I took her outside and she walked in a circle, around and around, until I finally picked her up.

she had been getting wobbly lately, and she was also completely blind by now. she would pace frantically and panic, her heart would race, and I would have to rock her to calm her down.

Monday morning I took her back to vet. Complete blood work showed abnormal liver, kidneys, elevated WBC, no fever, and fasting BG of 600.

Everything seems to be shutting down, probably due to old age, but possibly complications from the diabetes. But I told the vet I didnt want to pursue anything because I think she had enough of poking and pricking and force feeding and no quality of life, just sleeping all the time. But if I took her off insulin, since her BG jumped so quick, he said she would probably go into seizures within a matter of days. so I took her home, fed her, gave her insulin, and next day her BG was back to normal. One week went by, same thing going on, having to basically force feed her, and all she did was sleep, except for when she was pacing.

3 days ago the bile vomiting started occurring more frequently, once through the day and then every morning at 4 a.m. Right afer that, she would immediately urinate and "poop". oh, she's also gradually started trembling. the past 2 days I noticed her sleep was more of a "deep" sleep.

Again this morning 4 a.m., vomiting bile, urinate, poop. 2 hours later I took a urine test, and it was at the 1/2 mark. I fed her, this time it wasn't so much of a force feeding where she was spitting things out, it was more she wouldn't even open her mouth like she just didn't want to be bothered. somehow I coaxed her to eat (after 45 minutes) and gave her the shot. an hour later she had diarrhea all over the kitchen floor.

I had to go to work for a few hours, so I left her sleeping on the couch. I just came home. She won't even drink water anymore, her stomach feels hard (she's lost 2 pounds in 2 months), and I tried every thing I could think of to see if she would ever have a glimmer of wanting to eat -- nothing worked. her eyes are oozing, her blood has mucos with blood tinge, and teh vomit had blood in it today.

She doesn't even want to be held, she wants to just be left her to sleep. I know in my heart this is it, she's tired of living like this, she doesn't feel good, and I can't put her through any more testing. I just made the hardest call of my life to the vet, and I have an appointment for tonight.

I'm almost sure of what the outcome will be, I'm not expecting miracles, and I don't want to prolong her suffering any longer just to try to ease her over this crisis, only to have another one come up in 2 days from now. I know she's tired, and there's no more fight in her, she has no quality life anymore, and she's only hanging in there, again just to try to please me. I have to let her know that it's ok for her to go, but it's just so hard. I sat there crying with her, explaining it, and telling her I didn't want her to hurt anymore, and I hope she understands.

she put her head on my shoulder, and then just moved off my lap and went to lay in her bed. I'm sorry this is so long, I just needed to tell her story, of how brave and good she is, and how I wanted her to be known by all of you, so her life's last hours would mean more. thanks for listening.

[Tikobird]

Re: Kyla, is it time to let go?

While it is never long enough, 15 1/2 years is quite a milestone! I sit here crying with you for the position you are now in and wish there were some words that would make this time easier for you, but we all know that just isn't so. No matter how much we know we are doing what is in "their" best interest, it doesn't make it any better for "us" and those little paws leave such a big hole in our hearts. You and Kyla are in our thoughts and prayers.

Lori & Dozer